The national uniforms highlighted here do not make for a sight for sore eyes.
Even maximalist dresser and editor-at-large of Vogue Japan, Anna Dello Russo – who loves a strong dash of colour, would certainly agree.
So let’s start with the volunteers outfits. Talk about putting on a brave face; did any of them know they’d be dressing like a patchwork rainbow crossed with a blue raspberry Slush Puppy when they put their names down? We think not. Commentators were quick to point out that the colours are similar to those that appear on the rainbow flag that symbolises the gay pride movement – ironic considering that Russia carries tough anti-gay laws. But officials said the palette represents different parts of the country. “We are extremely proud that the Sochi 2014 workforce will wear this uniform and that it will contribute to the spirit of celebration around our Games” explained Dmitry Chernyshenko, president of the Sochi 2014 Organizing Committee.
Which brings us on to Germany, whose kit designer Willy Bogner could have sketched his nation’s sportswear with the gay pride flag at the very forefront of his mind. There will be no missing the Germans, whose myriad of yellow, green and blue jackets have been teamed with orange, rose-print trousers for the women, and off-white for the chaps. Put it this way – if someone gets flung off-piste, there will no missing persons case to follow.
We also can’t wait to catch the dizzying Norwegian curling team in action. Looking more like a drunkenly-dressed barbershop quartet than a team of sporting champs, it has been reported that those zigzag trousers are not a publicity stunt, and that they will be competing in them. Just look up their previous kits and you’ll get the vibe.
Saving the best until last, let us introduce you to the mariachi, AKA Hubertus Von Hohenlohe, the German prince who skis for Mexico, his homeland. That’s right – when Prince Hubertus of Hohenlohe-Langenburg isn’t creating artworks or singing under the alias Andy Himalaya, he’s skiing for the country he was born in. In a mariachi ski-suit.